” The trouble with most if us we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism. We swallow greedily any lie that flatters us, but we sip only little by little at a truth we find bitter. The way we respond to criticism pretty much depends on the way we respond to praise. If praise humbles us, then criticism builds us up. If praise inflates us, then criticism crushes us. Be real be open, be teachable that’s how you grow.”
This quote does not come close to the journey that Nakia R. Laushaul shared with us on 21 February 2013. “Running from Solace” we all can agree that catapulted us from the” familiar”
Memories we declared “closed, not open for business” just bypassed the benedictions that we declared with the utmost convictions of our conscience with the “do not disturb sign” only to find us in a state of purgatory.
“Diverse Dialogue With Passion” was a mere fraction of the comments that were shared among the IYBC members. “Running from Solace” dared us to show up on Thursday evening. We gave permission and entry to our thoughts when we purchased and down loaded this novel. How do I keep my strong composure and stoic demeanor, because I must be there for my IYBC members. I am not only a defector of my past but a survivor. Nakia I love you, but girlfriend I got this.
When Nakia arrived in August, GA on 20 February 2013 on my 52nd birthday, Theodore and I went to meet her at her hotel. On my way I had already decided that this just going to be a simple “meet and greet” I like many of you one you started reading “Running from Solace” could not put the book down. I was still in control of my emotions, and I refuse to “gush” all over her. I reminded myself she may have written “Running from Solace” but I was a witness and an unwilling participant in a dysfunctional family. I am not your “average bear” so it’s a wrap. She and I decided to go out to dinner. She immediately disarmed me. This young lady was not only intelligent, articulate, and beautiful she was true, real and inhibited. She is a friend I just met.
I still have to get through this book club discussion. I admit it has my attention, and I read the book a couple of weeks ago so any emotions that were disturbed, I covered them again, but this book is intense and it caught me off guard, so for extra insurance I inhaled every thought, emotion, but this time I will throw away the key, because I can’t have books like “Running from Solace” rocking the world I pay the bills in. This is my heart how dare “Running from Solace” impeded my conscience, so I order up a super size of “denial” and binge with my strong, assertive personality. Can’t Touch This!!!
IYBC and I are having the time of our life, who would think award-winning author Nakia R. Laushaul would be here in Augusta,GA discussing her novel “Running from Solace” It’s Your Book Club is at it again always reaching out of the norm.
We are half way through our book club discussion, I check the lock on my heart still there, and I remember I threw away the key. I should have done that a long time ago. I under estimated the power of secretes, they “remember”
Theodore our illustrious facilitator for the evening and was doing an excellent job of keeping the “conversation” alive. Theodore reference to Xavier, Genesis and Naomi calling their mother by their first name. This was highly unorthodox. I said to myself, how can he sit there and comment like this is so unusual. I need to talk, but how can I now after making a pact with myself, I threw away the key. I remind myself you are a defector and survivor, besides this is not about sexual or physical abuse, this is just a comment about how removed we are as society that does not respect parents, by calling them by their first names.
I politely bring a “face to the facts” that this is not “brand new” I proceed on because it is obvious that Theodore has led a sheltered life. My mother never allowed me my to call my father “Daddy” I could only call him Robinson, so Theodore it is unfair to say that children just need to be more respectful. I remember I was just a little girl, but my mother always saw me as the other woman so this was her way of keeping me in my place.
I start to feel this panic in my chest, but this pain, I remember this pain, it hurts so bad, this little girl in me is crying so bad my spirit starts to ache. I just know If I have to get this out. I feel week and I just can’t fight anymore. These tears start to flow out of me, I am trembling now. This pain is familiar, but who are you? I keep talking. I tell them if I wanted my father to take me to the store something so simple, my girlfriend Renee has a daughter her name is Savannah, I know at any given moment she can say to her Daddy will you take me to the mall, but I had to go to my mother and say “would you mind if your husband could give me a ride to the mall”? The tears won’s stop, even when I try hard to be in control, I can’t I am now raw and naked in the Augusta Richmond County Public Library.
I remember Nakia and some of my IYBC members embracing me with so much compassion and love. I feel my girlfriend Tonya rub my back, Malissa the mother of my beautiful god-daughter Lybertti moves closer to my side. I remembered my birthday and felt it was just ironic Nakia would arrive on that day, I remember her email with the flight itinerary, and the words or her email that instead of skyping she felt compelled to come to Augusta, I felt a chill come over me. This was just not about me being 52 years old.
I am so grateful Theodore chose “Running from Solace” I thank God that he prepared the perfect moment in time, and predestined all of the IYBC members that supported me loved through those moments of the release of pain and hurt, and, Nakia to fly from Houston, TX to Augusta, GA to catch my tears. I love all you, but I say thank you. I now know the meaning of “Solace”
My girlfriend Renee bought me a bouquet of flowers for my birthday there were so many different types of flowers, it was simply breath-taking. I asked Tonya to bring them to me. I felt peace and clarity and at this moment in time. I just wanted to” smell the roses”