“Running from Solace” Nakia R. Laushaul

“People say, that which doesn’t kill makes you stronger, but they are wrong. What doesn’t kill you doesn’t kill you. That’s all you get. Sometimes you have to hope that’s enough”

Hello IYBC,

When I read “Running from Solace” I really did not want to connect with any of the characters. I really wanted to read this book in a hurry and get it over with. I had a responsibility to IYBC and Theodore who chose this novel. I did not rush to buy it or read it. My plan was to breeze through it in a couple of days before our book IYBC  discussion. I have learned that I must “pick my battles” even when it comes to my past, especially my childhood. I will not revisit it, and if I do it will be on my terms.

OK, I’ll be honest. The verbage in “Running from Solace” makes me uncomfortable. I really do not like getting into my “childhood”  Theodore was still  “on the fence” about “Running from Solace because of the sexual, physical and emotional abuse. I’m saying to myself “here we go again, somebody always wants write about child abuse as a storyline when this is an issue that is a living” reality” Theodore said this book is excellent, “Running from Solace” is the book I will facilitate for the month of February. When he left, I took in a deep breath and exhaled. I just knew I was going to be depressed, I have enough going in my life as it, I don’t need or welcome the sleepless nights, now I have to read and revisit the past again, when I try to get off the emotional roller coaster, someone always wants me to ride again.  Why can’t people just leave it alone I did.

Who is this author of this book? I looked at her name which was difficult for me to pronounce, and what does “Solace” mean? I guess I am supposed to be drawn to her book just because she is a “conscious sister” raising the issues of child abuse. I’ll show her. I will read this book when I am good and ready.  Well I did and could not put the book down, stayed up all night reading “Running from Solace” when I went to work and I logged on my computer by thumbs were sore from holding the “kindle reader” all night long into the dawn of 3:00 am. All I could do was laugh at myself at this point.  So much for me having the last word!!

When I was reading ” Running From Solace” I just knew I was gong to connect to Naomi. I survived my childhood. I am ok, I am neutral. 

IYBC I was drawn to Mona this woman who exhibited some of my mothers behavior. I need to understand her ” point of origin” what is your thought process? “Running from Solace” gives a view into the mind of a child abuser. Does this mean we excuse their actions of course not, but we learn from the deficits in their life, so that we can start making deposits in ours. “Running from Solace” confirmed in my spirit, that my mother destroyed the love even before I got a chance to give it. The anger never turned into hatred or the why’s of our relationship. My curiosity was enough to sustain me so that I could understand her. Sometimes just knowing there was a “oppertunity” that never received a chance to “inherit the wind”   I can live with that.

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About chocolateamethyst

" Mother Teresa didn't walk around complaining about her thighs she had love to give"
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4 Responses to “Running from Solace” Nakia R. Laushaul

  1. I think that people will relate to different characters based on their own personal experiences and opinions. I can clearly see how one would be drawn to Mona because of her past relationships and her life experiences but give me a break this heifer did not change even when she was given a chance to right some of her wrongs, but when it came down to ” a man” being involved she all too well cleaned her act up and became the loving church going I’m gonna play with the children….. Mona just really disappointed me. She just did not know how to love or display love and she let her mother poison her mind when it came to her life and her children. I think that Mona did love her children, but then you start asking yourself, how can someone say they love you and treat you like this. She did not want to see her daughter dressed like a hooker and she did not want to see makeup all over her face at such a young age. How do people like Mona know when and how to ever love and treat their children? Will she ever?

    Lenora, was truly a phsyco! The things that she allowed her daughters to endure and her grand children even worse. Was she was a product of her environment? At what point do we stop blaming the environment and try and take some kind of control over our lives as Naomi did.

    True enough Naomi had her share of insecureties and was very reserved about her body and different things and even had her own reasons for not wanting children and this was all because of what she experienced as a child. Maybe in the back of her mind she was really scared of brining children into this cruel world. Her job made her face the day to day realities of her past which probably made it a little easier to deal with her own and I can agree when Chocolateamethyst said “we learn from the deficits in their life, so that we can start making deposits in ours”.

    Many people keep all those secrets bottled up and truly end up on medication, mental institutions, etc… because they have no outlet. Many never seek counseling and take it “to the grave”. I am so glad that Naomi was strong enough to brave through many issues in her life.

    Children mental, physical and sexual abuse is not limited to one race or demographical area, it is a very rampant and widespread epidemic and I feel so sad for children everywhere that has to endure this kind of treatment.

  2. chocolateamethyst says:

    There is a ugly reality to child abusers, they are severly fractured . Some of them never exhibit a healthy form of love to their children let alone themselves. Mona does not disappoint me. She cannot give to her children what she never had.

    “Hurt People Hurt People”

    • MYTH #5: Abused children always grow up to be abusers.

      Fact: It is true that abused children are more likely to repeat the cycle as adults, unconsciously repeating what they experienced as children. On the other hand, many adult survivors of child abuse have a strong motivation to protect their children against what they went through and become excellent parents.

  3. chocolateamethyst says:

    Lenora is just simply pathetic, and she has a cruel spirit. She is the character that I felt the most contempt for. We don’t know her history, who knows she may not have been abused as a child herself, but started this generational curse.

    My Godmother was severly abused by her mother and family members. Her saving grace was her grandmother who did not abuse her mother.

    I believe some people are just evil. Lenora is at the top that list in my opinion.

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