There is a small part in Ch. 5 that speaks of a woman wearing her ring even when it was too small just so she would not be stereotyped as the “poor black single mother” taking advantage of government assistance. It never occurred to me to care what people think. I have been happily married for 5yrs, but I seldom wear my ring.
I don’t like to wash my hands wearing jewelry so I find myself not wearing rings much at all. I bought my husband’s ring one size too big and have yet to take it to be resized. I’m married to my husband in my heart and in the eyes of God. The ring and the court papers matter little to me. I wonder how many people have mistaken me for a poor unwed mother when I go shopping with my brood……
As far as giving men the wrong impression, I seldom have to turn a man down without my ring. I have to tell the men no thanks more often with it on when I get disgusting comments like “Is your husband married?” spewed at me. It is almost as if the brothers want to hit on a married woman with kids so they can avoid the commitment. If I look single I suppose they think I’m looking for them to be my next baby daddy! DRAMA!!!!!!!!
Ladies I appreciate your comments about men sharing. We will surely have to revisit this topic next Thursday.
itsyourbookclub 
Poor Black Women don’t stand a chance when it comes to being “stereotyped”
They have given birth to thousands of successful people, I guess it is OK to come
through the womb of a poor black woman, but after that she’s on her own.
In chapter 5 the subtitle ” The Middle-Class Predicament” Annelise did not want
strangers-white people especially stereotyping her as promiscuous, immoral, ect.
after all she was successful, college eduacted. I don’t understand how she can be
so concerned about what one race of people thinks about her, but not concerned
with her own race. I can understand “burning the midnight oil” to acheive that level
of success, when you start letting that validate you as a person you box yourself in
this image that you can’t live up to. Well it seems you enjoy “intimacy” as much as
as that poor black woman, but wait a minute she is already stereotyped for her
actions society has declared and sealed her future with the stamp “reject” because
she was not married when she allowed herself to get pregnant, what is your stereotype?
Hello IYBC,
I would like to propose a question to Mr.Banks:
Do you think it is fair that we hear from men, and get their side of the story, and they can tell us in their own words “Is Marriage For White People”?